Jon And Chantel

Choose the news 02/20/18

A Massive New Study Proves That the Key to Living a Long Life Is . . . Alcohol

  If you want to live a long life, put down those dumbbells, take off those running shoes, and start doing something that’s ACTUALLY good for you:  Getting blasted on boxed wine.

According to a massive new study by a neurologist named Claudia Kawas at the University of California, the key to living a long life is ALCOHOL.

Kawas studied more than 1,700 people over 90 years old for the past 15 years, and found that people who drank around two glasses of beer or wine a day were 18% less likely to die early.

People who exercised between 15 and 45 minutes a day were only 11% less likely to die early.  In other words, alcohol is more effective at keeping you alive than exercise.

And the good news doesn’t stop there.  Kawas also found it’s better to be a little bit CHUBBY than very thin.  People who were slightly overweight, but not obese, were 3% less likely to die early.

And people who drank two cups of coffee a day were 10% less likely to die early.

But the best thing of all is . . . having a daily hobby.  People who worked on a hobby at least two hours every day were 21% less likely to die early.

Five Stats About Our Showering Habits

Are you grosser than the average American when it comes to your showering habits?  Here are five stats from a recent survey . . .

1.  How often do you shower?  55% said at least once a day . . . 34% said every two days . . . 9% said once or twice a week . . . and 2% said only when they stink.

2.  When you take a bath, do you usually take a quick shower afterward to rinse off your own FILTH you’ve been soaking in?  55% said YES.  45% said no.

3.  Do you wash your hair first or last?  81% said it’s the first thing they wash.  19% wait until the end of their shower.  That’s not really about being gross, it’s just kind of interesting.

4.  How often do you use a fresh towel?  49% said about once a week.  33% said it varies.  18% said they use a fresh towel every time they shower.  (Is 18% high, or am I just gross and lazy for not wanting to do all that laundry?)

5.  Do you ever PEE in the shower?  67% of us do it.  33% said no way.


Chipotle Is Now Testing Quinoa

Chipotle finally added a major new item to their menu last year, with QUESO.  And pretty much everyone agreed it was gross.  So now they’re thinking about adding another new item and . . . um . . . well . . .

Yesterday, they started offering QUINOA at their test kitchen in New York City.  And they’re thinking people will add it to salads or order it instead of rice.

There’s no word on if or when they could roll it out to all of their stores . . . but is anyone out there REALLY going, “Oh please Chipotle, do it soon”?



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