Science Says Picking Your Nose and Eating It Is Good For You
This is a glorious day for everyone who ever got branded the “weird kid” for PICKING THEIR NOSE and EATING it.
Scientists from Harvard and MIT just released the results of a study that found parents should NOT discourage their kids from picking their noses and possibly eating what they find . . . because it’s a, quote, “rich reservoir of good bacteria.”
They say that when you eat your mucus, it prevents bacteria from sticking to your teeth. And the good bacteria you’re digesting can help fight against everything from ulcers to HIV.
That’s right: EATING YOUR BOOGERS COULD HELP PREVENT AIDS.
If this didn’t all sound like an April Fools’ joke already, it gets even more surreal: The scientists say they’re now going to start developing a TOOTHPASTE and GUM made out of a synthetic mucus to help you get the nose picking benefits.
But you don’t have to wait for that. You’ve got the real thing just sitting there in your nose, waiting for your loving touch.
Coffee Bagels Are Now on Sale Nationwide
Bagels and coffee are both breakfast staples. And apparently, in all this time they’ve been working together, sexual tension built up. Now they finally acted on it, had kinky breakfast sex, and made a baby. And it’s . . . unusual.
Einstein Bros. Bagels just created a COFFEE BAGEL and rolled it out to all of their stores around the country.
It’s called the Espresso Buzz Bagel and it’s made out of an espresso and coffee-cherry flour. Each bagel has 32 milligrams of caffeine, which is roughly the same as a can of Coke . . . but less than a quarter of what you’d get in a small coffee at Starbucks.
And as for the taste, it’s . . . questionable. The reviews are pretty mixed, with some people calling them “sour” and other people loving them.
Crayola Finally Announces the Replacement For the Yellow Crayon They Kicked Out
Remember back in March when Crayola announced they were retiring of one of their core 24 crayons for the first time?
They wound up cutting the dandelion color, which didn’t seem like a “childhood wrecking”-level loss considering dandelion had only been part of the box of 24 crayons since 1990 . . . and there were still PLENTY of yellow crayons available.
Well, they just announced the new color they’re replacing it with. And it’s . . . blue.
They say it’s a very specific shade of blue that was only discovered in 2009 by a chemist at Oregon State University. But, I mean, it’s a blue crayon.
And the box of 24 crayons already has the following blue colors: Blue . . . blue-green . . . cerulean . . . indigo . . . and blue violet. With this addition, that means 25% of the box is now blue.
But they want to keep on stringing this thing along, so NOW they’re asking people to help them name it. You can submit a name at Crayola.com/NewColor.
Then they’re going to announce the top five name options on July 1st, people can vote, and they’ll unveil the new name in September. This is an absurd amount of effort for, basically, replacing a yellow crayon with a blue one. You’re losing us, Crayola.