Jon And Chantel

Choose the news 6/20/17

Five “Cool” Words That Can Make You Sound Old Now

If you want all your 20-something coworkers to think you’re cool, apparently you should stop using the WORD “cool.”

Someone posted a list of words that used to make you sound young, but can make you sound OLD now.  Apparently “cool” is the new “groovy.”  Here are five words you might want to start using less . . .

1.  “Totally.”  Like when you’re agreeing with someone, you might say, “Oh yeah, TOTALLY.”  Millennials don’t really use it like that.  It’s more of a Generation X thing.

2.  “Sweet.”  Some people in their late 20’s and 30’s think EVERYTHING is sweet.  Like, “We have next Friday off?  SWEET!”  So try not to use it too much.

3.  “Cool.”  Younger people DO use it in specific situations.  Like they might say a new gadget is “cool.”  But they don’t use it on its own as much.  Like if someone says they’ll email you, and you say, “Okay, cool.”  Apparently that’s NOT cool anymore.

4.  “Bummer.”  It sounds dated, like something you’d say in the 90’s.  “Dude, bummer.”

5.  “Awesome.”  Again, you CAN still use it.  Like if your recent trip to Hawaii was “awesome,” that’s okay.  But it’s starting to feel dated, kind of like the word “rad.”  So try not to use it all the time.


The Top Signs You’re at a Bad Amusement Park

Summer is here and that means lots of us will head to an amusement park.  Hopefully, it’ll be one that’s fun and nothing like anything described on this list of The Top Signs You’re at a Bad Amusement Park.

Right as you’re entering the park, you see a guy reset the “Days without a fatal accident” counter to zero.

The scariest thing in the haunted house is the ghost of Megyn Kelly’s broadcasting career.

They kick you out for flashing your boobs on the log ride photo.

All the mascots smell like weed and day-old hot dogs.

In addition to a red bow in her hair, Snow White is sporting a teardrop tattoo.

The only long lines in the place are the ones being snorted by ride operators.

You win stuffed animals by throwing stones at adulterers.

They refuse to recognize Dippin’ Dots as the ice cream of the future.

Your daughter gets a used hypodermic needle from the claw machine.

It’s a water park.  In Flint, Michigan.

You can see pieces of Donald Trump’s scalp in the cotton candy.

Kathy Griffin recently posted a picture of herself holding their mascot’s bloody head.

Halfway through the day, the kids tell you they miss Bible camp.

The dude who guesses your girlfriend’s weight does it by lifting her up in a giant bear hug.

It’s called “The Gropiest Place on Earth.”

One of the six flags is an ISIS banner.

The roller coaster simply recreates what it’s like to be in a relationship with Taylor Swift

One of the parts of the park is called “Closed for Renovation Land.”

It’s in downtown Aleppo.

Snortable Chocolate Has Arrived in America

  I’m pretty sure no long-term good can come from SNORTING anything, but here we are.

SNORTABLE CHOCOLATE has been around in Europe for a while, but it just made its way over here.  The product is called Coco Loko, and it’s a processed cacao powder that you snort, just like cocaine.

You don’t really taste the chocolate when you snort it, but the people who make it say that it gives you the health benefits of dark chocolate without any calories.

Is it safe?  The answer is . . . maybe.  It’s not approved by the FDA, and it doesn’t have to be because of a loophole . . . they can only approve food you eat, not snort.

And experts say there’s a chance it could cause sinus problems . . . but odds are you’ll be fine if you want to try it.

They aren’t sure about the claims on the health benefits, but I’m guessing you wouldn’t be doing it for those anyway . . . you’d be doing it for the gimmick.

A container with 10 servings is on sale right now on Amazon for $25.



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