Jon And Chantel

Choose the news 8/14/17

Ten Things That Seem Totally Normal to Americans But Confuse the Hell Out of Tourists From Other Countries

  There’s a lot of stuff in this country that seems totally normal to us . . . but confuses the HELL out of tourists who come here from other countries.

Here are 10 things that seem normal to us but aren’t to our international visitors . . .

1.  Cranking the air conditioning on full blast everywhere.

2.  Our massive highways and the massive cars on them.

3.  Restaurants serving water with ice cubes in it, even in the winter.

4.  All the different flavors and varieties of foods like Oreos and Cheez-Its.

5.  Having so many commercial breaks during TV shows.

6.  Price tags not including the tax.

7.  Laws changing from state to state.

8.  Servers who are working for tips . . . which makes them way more attentive and always asking “Is everything okay?”

9.  Pharmacies that sell beer and cigarettes.

10.  All of our money being the same size and mostly the same color.


The Worst Things People Have Done During Job Interviews

This should give you confidence if you’re applying for new jobs . . . because a lot of THESE people are your competition.  And compared to them, you’re EXTREMELY hirable.


Right now, on, bosses are sharing some of the worst things that people have done during job interviews.  Here are five of the highlights . . .

1.  “Interviewee showed up 10 minutes late, told us the clock was wrong, took it off the wall and adjusted it.”

2.  “I asked, ‘How would you handle a conflict with another coworker?’ and he told me about how at his last job, his girlfriend got knocked up by another coworker and he never fought the guy at work . . . just when they were off the clock.”

3.  “A twentysomething woman with a good resume showed up with her mom, and actually expected her mom to come into the interview.”

4.  “A woman talked about her breasts, her ex stalking her, how she always carries a gun . . . and then gave a long, graphic description of how her last job at Burger King once required her to clean up poop with pennies in it.”

5.  “I work for Nike.  A candidate came in wearing Adidas sneakers.”


The Top Signs Your NFL Team is Gonna Suck

The first weekend of NFL preseason games gave head coaches a good chance to evaluate what kind of team they have.  Sadly, it doesn’t look good for some teams.  Here are The Top Signs Your NFL Team is Gonna Suck.

The laminated sheet the coach always looks at during games?  A Dave & Busters menu.

Their secondary is as weak as Donald Trump’s response to the white supremacist rally.

Many of the players kneel during the national anthem . . . but then all of them lay down for the entire game.

They just lost an intra-squad scrimmage to tackling dummies.

The only “plays” the guys on offense talk about in the huddle are the ones currently showing on Broadway.

The coach keeps bragging that the rookie running back is already sexually assaulting at an “Ezekiel Elliott” level.

The wide receivers are really good at being wide, not so much at receiving.

The United Way raises money for them.

The New England Patriots don’t bother cheating against them.

Not one player on the team has ever nailed a Kardashian.

The pads they wear include maxi.

People think Charlie Sheen is the offensive line coach because they give the quarterback absolutely “no protection.”

President Trump just called them the greatest football team of all time.

The special teams are, well, definitely “special.”

When the players go to a club to meet women, they lie about what they do for a living.

When they play in it, ESPN changes the name to “Mundane Night Football”.

Season tickets are being sold through Groupon.

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