I love a lot of things. Animals, Sia, Judge Judy, animals, science news, animals… But one of my very favorite things is a good conspiracy theory (CT). And the “Avril Lavigne is Dead” CT is beyond words.
That’s right. For years now, people from all reaches of the internet have been putting on their tin foil hats and “gathering evidence” that Canadian rock star Avril Lavigne took her own life after her first big album “Let Go” featuring such hits as “Sk8er Boy” and “Complicated.”
So suit-up and let’s go over the theory in detail. Fair warning, it’s pretty dark.
The Death of a Young Star
As the story goes, Avril was riding the fame wave after the 2002 release of “Let Go” when her grandfather, whom she was very close to, died in 2003. The grief consumed her and she completed suicide by hanging shortly after (2003 or 2004).
Another very popular CT is that celebrities hire look-a-likes to throw off paparazzi when they don’t want to deal with the hassle. Which wouldn’t be a terribly difficult task since regular people look like celebrities all the time. You can even hire a celebrity look-a-like for your party or corporate event. Apparently, there’s a lot of money to be made by kind of looking like someone.
Quick side-note, this all seems a lot more difficult than the CT that surrounded Taylor Swift earlier this year.
Anyhoo, rumor has it that Avril’s people had hired a doppelgänger named Melissa Vandella. And you gotta admit, the resemblance is unsettling.
so she decided to hire a look alike to walk around LA for her and pose for the paparazzi (avril on the left, look alike on the right) pic.twitter.com/wNSrDVh09i
— yeehaw girl (@givenchyass) May 13, 2017
As the CT goes, Avril’s music was a global success and her label couldn’t stand the idea of parting with her (and the money she brought in) after her alleged suicide. So they did the only sensible thing they could think of: cover up Avril’s death, then replace her with the girl who was already on payroll for pretending to be her.
Because Melissa had spent so much time around Avril, conspiracy theorists believe that she picked up on her mannerisms. It was an easy transition.
The Birth of the Theory
A Brazilian blog called “Avril Esta Morta” (“Avril is Dead” THANK YOU, Google Translate) hit the internet, their earliest post dating back to May 6th, 2011. This blog was quickly picked up by other blogs, Reddit, YouTube, and even some major news outlets like Vice and Gawker.
What I can only assume began as a joke quickly turned into an all-out crazy person evidence hunt.
Exhibit A: The Freckles
One of the first pieces of evidence was all about mole placement. Apparently, the “real” Avril had 4 prominent moles on her upper left arm. The “fake” Avril’s allegedly look like they may have been tattooed or otherwise “placed” on. Then there’s the fact that she also has a patch of “natural” freckles that “real” Avril didn’t have.
— yeehaw girl (@givenchyass) May 14, 2017
TBH, That’s pretty damning evidence!
Me: putting EVERYTHING aside and taking my time to look up how many freckles avril lavigne had in 2003 and how theyre somehow gone now pic.twitter.com/e4SyBx2aIy
— Gabriela (@gabroch00) May 16, 2017
Exhibit B: Face Shape
I’ll let the photos speak for themselves.
Ok omg pic.twitter.com/rUikuLVGs3
— Chrissy Teigen child (@onlymodelz) May 14, 2017
evidence from @Hater_tots_ pic.twitter.com/85WH83sDvK
— yeehaw girl (@givenchyass) May 14, 2017
Okay so I was looking at these and the corners of their eyes are shaped differently and now I’m geeking pic.twitter.com/ag2G37NsSt
— A (@ashlynnktigner) May 14, 2017
Sure, a little plastic surgery could easily have changed eye shape, jaw line, cheekbones, etc. But remember: we’re pretending for a little while that we believe this. Just for funsies.
Exhibit C: Lyrical Clues
Clues to her alleged suicide were sprinkled all throughout her lyrics.
From “Slipped Away”-
It wasn’t fake
It happened, you passed by
No you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can’t bring you back.
From “Nobody’s Home”–
She wants to go home,
but nobody’s home.
It’s where she lies,
With no place to go,
no place to go to dry her eyes.
There are so many other lyrics alluding to her death, but let’s get real; lyrics like these were essential to the emo-rock genre of the early aughts. Let’s not give this (or really any of this) too much stock.
Exhibit D: Dramatic Style Change
Ever wonder why the mainstream queen of emo-chique went from singing songs about darkness and emptiness, to jamming out to bubblegum pop anthems like “Girlfriend?” How about the fact that between 2003 and her resurfacing in 2007, she apparently discovered that colors other than black existed? Easy-peasy. She was replaced! Obvi.
Exhibit E: The Handwriting
I’ll just leave this right here.
avrils old handwriting vs a latest tweet pic.twitter.com/1cwBbgSBfy
— the sweetest heart (@privatelaprip) May 14, 2017
So.. Was Avril Lavigne swept up in some sort of weird, illuminati death cover-up? Probably not. Let’s get real. At the time of her “death,” she was such a big star, she couldn’t have sneezed without someone knowing about it. But, it’s the most fun theory ever. Do yourself a favor and really dive down into it one day because we’ve only scratched the surface.
Oh, and one more thing, Avril must think that this is the funniest thing ever. Because there is a very obvious way to get the rumors to stop:
the only thing that i want rn is a recent photo of Avril Lavigne and Melissa Vandella together pic.twitter.com/COPhsV8FkS
— georgiana (@ravenkookie) May 14, 2017
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