Justin, Chantel, and Jackson had three news stories for you to choose from. They were:
Justin: If Your Anniversary Is Next Week, It Doesn’t Look Good For You.
Oh cut ✂ it out… All of us have a favorite EX BOYFRIEND ladies 🙊 Mine is 5ft 5 200lbs of pure caramel 🍎 but he’s tough to deal with and I’m Puerto Rican 🇵🇷 🔥 THE 2⃣ DON’T MIX. My dudes gotta be 👇 #affectionate #kind #sweet #loving #romantic……….. at least 50% of the time. #exboyfriend #exboyfriendsbelike #exactly #quoteoftheday #myfav #myfavorite #hmm #justsayin #behonest #thoughts #memories #relationships #relationshipquotes #lovequotes #lust #like4like #breakup #makeup #kiss #kissing #cute #cutequotes #goodmorningpost
For $10, recipients get an emailed certificate telling them one of the insects from the world’s largest roach has been named for them.
Did you get broken up with right before Valentine’s day? Name a roach after him! Running out of ways to say “no” to that weird co-worker who keeps asking you out? Name a roach after him! Keep getting blown off? Girl, name a roach after him!
The money goes to the Wildlife Conservation Society.
Valentine’s Day is approaching. Whether that makes you cry out with joy, or flat out cry, #NameARoach is here to help. For $10 name a Bronx Zoo cockroach after your sweetie, or cement an ex’s place in history. Happy naming! Link in bio. Visit bronxzoo.com/roach. #BronxZoo #cockroach #ValentinesDay #Valentine #roach @epicurious @coffeeintheshower @hilarioushumanitarian @popsugarfood @ediblebrooklyn @timeoutnewyork @nymag @beigecardigan @betches @girlwithnojob
A photo posted by Bronx Zoo (@bronxzoo) on
Unsatisfied with Chantel’s story, Jon gave her the “Crowd Booing” sound effect and decided to throw in one of his own. And, weirdly enough, it was also a roach story.
Jon: What’s Crawling Around In my Brain?
A woman living in India had a little bit of a headache. So, she took some tylenol and went to bed, thinking she could just sleep it off. She woke up to a weird sensation in her nose, so she went to the doctor. A nasal endoscope revealed that a roach had crawled up her nose. The bug was so deep into her skull, that doctors had to use forceps to retrieve it.
A photo posted by Fender Land (@fenderland) on
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