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Katy Perry Once Got Suspended For Humping a Tree

We’ve all been there. You’re supposed to go all Marie Kondo on your bedroom, clearing out any junk that doesn’t ‘spark joy.’ Only to be distracted by old memories.

Unfortunately, I have never found anything as amazing as what Katy Perry found yesterday. 

She posted on her Instagram story a photo of a high school suspension note. She was suspended in 1996 for “inappropriate behavior,” namely making out with a tree, pretending it was Tom Cruise. 

Along with several other offenses, the note detailed the incident as follows:

“At the 2:00 p.m. recess, Katy and four other students were in an ‘off-limits’ area (behind the backboards) practicing a skit. Katy pretended that a tree was Tom Cruise and began making sexual motions (pelvic thrusts) to the tree. When Katy met with Mrs. Calkins, Mr. White, and myself, she was asked to describe or demonstrate what she had been seen doing on the playground in front of some other students. Katy chose to describe it. Her words were ‘it was inappropriate’ and ‘like making out.'”

As if I needed another reason to fall in love with Katy Perry. 

via GIPHY

 



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