Stupid Is, Stupid Does

Man with beer belly

A Man Assaulted His Elderly Neighbor Using His Giant Beer Belly

I guess any body part can be a weapon if you know how to wield it right, but this is still a first. 58-year-old Morrison Wilson of Belfast, Northern Ireland was in court this week for assaulting his elderly female neighbor with his giant beer belly. The woman went to Morrison’s house back in October of 2013 and they got in an argument.  He decided to get rid of her by bumping his belly into her over and over to bounce her away. But one big belly shot made her fall down and injure her tailbone. Morrison was found not guilty of assault with bodily harm, but was found guilty of common assault, so he’ll be back in court for his sentence next month. Get the full story here.

Cops in Oregon Have Finally Tracked Down a Stolen 1,200-Square-Foot House

Someone stole an ENTIRE HOUSE in Klamath Falls, Oregon this week.  Not a mobile home, not a house on wheels, not an RV, a real 1,200-square-foot house. The police got a call about a missing house on Tuesday and have been house hunting ever since. It took them two entire days, but yesterday, they finally find it. No one was inside when it was stolen, so at least this didn’t escalate from house theft to kidnapping. They’re still not sure who stole it, or how they moved it.  The house looks like a log cabin that’s elevated a little bit with several wooden supports, so it wasn’t cemented into the ground or anything, but still. The cops say there has been some debate over who the owner is, three different people claim they own it, and one of them sold it to a fourth person. Get the full story here.

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