Stupid Is, Stupid Does

Man Steals Officer’s Pen So He Can’t Write Him a Ticket

A 24-year-old man’s desperate attempt to avoid getting a ticket earlier this month completely failed. In a quick succession of movements that was surely amusing to watch, the man tried to block his car’s registration sticker with his hands, before sinking down to hide his license plate with his body. When this failed to deter the traffic officer, who was unmoved by the interpretive-dance performance happening only feet away, the man stole the officer’s pen, which was “valued at $5.” Instead of avoiding the original ticket, the man was charged with attempted criminal mischief, obstructing governmental administration, petit larceny, and harassment. Get more here.

A Guy Ran from the Cops Because His Mistress Was in the Car and He Didn’t Want to Get Caught Cheating

A 21-year-old in St. Louis named Demetrius Johnson was caught doing 80 in a 60-mile-per-hour zone on Tuesday, and led cops on a high-speed chase when they tried to pull him over. He ended up hitting speeds of more than 130 miles an hour, which was especially bad because there were two KIDS in the car with him, a three-year-old and a baby. It’s not clear if they’re his kids or not, but the chase ended when he crashed his car and had to be taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. Luckily, the kids and two other passengers weren’t hurt. It turned out he was driving on a suspended license, and police also found marijuana and a loaded gun. But when they asked why he ran . . . he said one of the passengers was a woman he’s been cheating with, and he didn’t want his girlfriend to find out. He’s facing charges for felony flight and child endangerment. It’s not clear if he’ll face drug and weapons charges as well. Get more here.

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