Stupid Is, Stupid Does

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An Argument Over a Bag of Doritos Turned Into an Ax Fight

Two guys in Darwin, Australia were hanging around outside a post office on Sunday afternoon, because you know, where else would you want to hang out? They were trying to share a bag of Doritos, but one guy was hogging them.  So the other guy grabbed a stick and demanded his fair share. His friend responded by walking over to a traffic cone nearby and grabbing an ax hidden underneath it.  Yes, that’s really what happened, no, we can’t explain why a traffic cone with an ax under it was outside a post office.  That’s Australia, I guess. Fortunately, two cops saw the stick-versus-ax fight brewing and broke it up. The guy with the ax was arrested for threatening behavior and being armed in public. Get the full story here.

A Guy Is Busted Driving in the Carpool Lane With a Dummy Made of Wood Sticks

James Campbell of Dix Hills, New York got a new job a few months ago.  He had a long commute, and he wanted to take the carpool lane, but he didn’t have anyone to carpool with. So James did what any of us would do in that situation:  Arts and crafts! He glued together a bunch of wood sticks into the shape of a person, then threw a hooded sweatshirt on his new stick man and plopped him down in the passenger seat. James’s genius plan came to an end on Friday around 6:30 A.M. when a cop pulled him over for speeding and realized his passenger was made out of wood.  He was cited for speeding and an occupancy violation. When the media talked to him, he either showed off his good sense of humor, or his growing insanity. He said the dummy is still going to ride with him and, quote, “he’s got a sister down in the basement and on special occasions, I bring her out and she wears a tutu.” Get the full story here.

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