Stupid Is, Stupid Does

A Guy Says His Dog Was Driving During a High-Speed Chase

This is like a really high stakes version of “the dog ate my homework.” Cops in Palmetto, Florida spotted 26-year-old Reliford Cooper the Third speeding on Wednesday night, so they tried to pull him over. But he took off and got into a high-speed chase with them. It only ended when he crashed into a house a few minutes later, so he took off on foot. He ran into a Pentecostal church to try to hide, but the people inside didn’t want any part of giving him sanctuary, and chased him right out to the cops. As they were arresting him, he said he hadn’t been driving, quote, “My dog was driving that car.” The cops didn’t buy it, and he was arrested for drunk driving, resisting arrest, and leaving the scene. There’s no word on whether he even had his dog in his car. Get more here.

Man Gets Hand Stuck in Gas Tank, Gets Arrested

Christopher Bolger was gassing up and a Mobil Gas Station, when he got his finger stuck in his fuel tank. No one is sure why put his hand into his gas tank, but he couldn’t get it out. Panicked, he called for help. Firefighters, along with the local media, arrived. Firefighters had to use a torch and saw to get Chris’s hand out of the car but a piece of pipe leading into the gas tank remained stuck around his finger. He was taken to the hospital with the piece of tank still attached,then the authorities discovered there was an active warrant for his arrest. “It’s dumb all the way around on his part,” Chitwood said. “Stupid is as stupid does.” Get more here.

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