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Stupid Is, Stupid Does

A Drunk Man at Hooters ‘Meows’ at Cops

Officers received a report about someone in a Mercedes-Benz driving recklessly through the parking lot of Hooters in North Carolina. When they arrived on the scene, the vehicle was empty, but witnesses described the driver as intoxicated. Officers then received a call about the same intoxicated man harassing customers in front of Hooters. They located the 25-year-old man, who was “heavily intoxicated” and smelled of alcohol. When an officer asked for the man’s name, he responded, “Meow.” The officer then asked the man’s real name, to which he again responded, “Meow.” Officers asked the man for his ID and he told them he didn’t have one. After charging the man with public disorderly conduct, an officer found an ID identifying him as the Mercedes-Benz owner. He was charged with giving false information to police. Get more here.

A Shoplifter Stabbed Himself Trying to Cut Through Plastic Packaging With a Knife

We love when criminals hurt themselves with their own stupidity. But we hate that plastic packaging around electronics and other stuff that’s ridiculously hard to open. Here’s what happens when those things come together. 46-year-old David Lee wanted to steal himself a phone from Walmart on Monday evening in Lemont Furnace, Pennsylvania. He went for a Straight Talk Wireless, it’s one of those pre-paid ones. Then he took it to the automotive aisle and tried to open it. But it was sealed in one of those plastic packages that’s infuriatingly difficult to open. Even when you haven’t stolen it. Lucky David had a knife with him, and went to work on the plastic. David wasn’t able to get the packaging open, but he was able to stab himself in the arm. There was so much blood the staff noticed, so he stole a towel, wrapped his arm, took off, and drove to the hospital. But his injury was so severe he had to be flown to another hospital. That’s where police arrested him for theft and disorderly conduct. And apparently he left so much blood behind at Walmart, a hazmat crew had to come in and clean it up. Get more here.

 

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