Stupid Is, Stupid Does

Grazing white dwarf goat

Portland Man Arrested for Allegedly Stealing 2 Bicycles and a Goat Named Penelope

Detectives in Portland, OR arrested Oleg Stepanovich Plyushchev after they learned he was attempting to sell a stolen bicycle on Craigslist. The victim called police after he saw the bicycle stolen from his backyard advertised for sale on the website. Detectives contacted Plyushchev and arranged to purchase the bicycle, along with a second bicycle Plyushchev had for sale. Using the second bicycle’s serial number, police identified it as one reported stolen from the garage of a 71-year-old woman. After they arrested him, they learned he was a suspect in the August 2014 theft of a Nigerian dwarf goat. Penelope was reported missing in August. Police were able to trace her back to a farming supply company, where Plyushchev had her for sale on consignment. Get the full story here.

A Guy Shoots His Sister For Baking Him a Birthday Cake in the Shape of Man Parts

A man is facing battery charges after he shot his sister in the butt with a BB gun after she made him a birthday cake in the shape of male genitalia. Christopher Taft, 21, was arrested and charged with aggravated battery causing bodily harm and spent the night of his 21st birthday in jail. Taft told police he thought it would be funny to shoot his sister with a BB gun as a joke and did not intend to hurt her, according to the report. The BB was embedded in his sister’s skin and she refused to be transported, saying she would go to a hospital herself, police said. She also told police she didn’t want to pursue criminal charges. No word on the cake… get the full story here.

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