Stupid Is, Stupid Does

A 73-Year-Old Did Cocaine in Front of a Cop During a Traffic Stop

A 73-year-old guy was pulled over in Seattle, Washington last week for driving with his headlights off. So the cop took his license and registration and went back to his car to run them. He found that the guy had zero tickets in his life, so he was going to let him off with a warning. But apparently after 73 years of being a law-abiding citizen, the guy got a little cocky. Way, way too cocky. Because when the cop walked back up to the car, he saw the guy about to do some coke. He had a little vial in his hand, and was scooping some out. But he must have been spooked, because he spilled cocaine on his hands and on the floor. So the cop actually asked him, quote, “What would possess you to do that on a traffic stop with a police officer right behind you? I just don’t understand.” And the guy answered, quote, “I don’t understand either.” So he was arrested for drug possession. Get more here.

Man Caught with 51 Live Turtles In Pants

Kai Xu, 27, was arrested in Detroit back in September 2014, for trying to smuggle turtles. After picking up a box at the post office, he hid behind trucks and emerged with “irregularly shaped bulges” under his sweat pants, wildlife agent Ken Adams said. He tired to return to Canada but was stopped by border authorities who found 51 live turtles taped to his legs. Despite being caught “he did not cease smuggling turtles. He did not even slow down,” U.S. Attorney Sara Woodward said. Kai would order the turtles online, travel to the U.S. to pick them up, then ship them to China where they’d be sold for 3x what he paid. He pleaded guilty to six crimes in federal court in Ann Arbor and faces a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison. Get more here.


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