Stupid Is, Stupid Does

A Guy Tries to Run After Shoplifting Steaks, But Runs Out of Breath

If your only cardio is running from the cops, your life of crime is probably doomed. A 21-year-old guy named Shawn Chapman from Howey-in-the-Hills, Florida shoplifted two steaks from a Publix grocery store last week, by shoving them down his PANTS. But a security guard spotted him, so Shawn took off running. Unfortunately for him, he clocks in around 300 pounds, and wasn’t quite ready for a high speed chase. So the cops quickly caught up with him when he ran out of breath, and arrested him for retail theft. Get more here.

Man Gets Locked in Grocery Store While in Bathroom

Robert Bigot had to make a late night grocery run for his family. They needed milk, cereal, eggs and bread, so like a good guy he went to the Winn-Dixie. While shopping nature called upon Robert in a big way and he had to go. He rushed into the bathroom, and while he was in there the clock struck 11:00pm which is closing time for Winn-Dixie. Robert emerged from his bathroom situation at 11:03pm to find the store dark and completely empty. He called his fiance and she alerted police to the situation. The employees at the store say they played a warning over the speaker saying the store was closing in 5 minutes, but apparently it doesn’t play in the bathrooms. Police took down Roberts info for the report, no one was arrested. Let this serve as a warning, don’t go grocery shopping moments before a store closes. And employees, do a sweep at closing time and make sure to check the bathrooms. Get more here.

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