Stupid Is, Stupid Does

A Toothless Woman Huffing Propane Bites Police Officer

45-year-old Sarah Jo Longacre’s mother came home to find her daughter in the garage, naked, huffing propane and playing with a lighter. Obviously, that’s an extremely dangerous situation, so Sarah Jo’s mom called police. When the arrived, they tried to talk to Sarah Jo, but she threatened to ignite the propane if they approached her. She lit the lighter in front of the nozzle, twice. Fortunetly she’d huffed all the propane, and there was no explosion. The officers were able to kick the tank away from her. Sarah Jo told officers she’d also drank two bottles of alcohol. Sarah Jo then called 911, six times. When the first responders arrived, she refused to go quietly. Sarah Jo fought the officers and EMTs, kicking and biting them, but doing no damage because Sarah Jo has no teeth. She was taken to the hospital for evaluation, and after being medically clearing her she was arrested. She’s facing felony charges of threatening to discharge a destructive device, resisting deputies, and a misdemeanor charge for misuse of 911. Get more here.

Drunk Man Passed Out on Glass Roof of Shopping Center

Getting a new job is exciting! It’s totally normal to go out and celebrate, but celebrate responsibly. Isaac Moore did not celebrate responsibly. The 27-year-old went drinking, and he drank so much that he started doing crazy things. Like climbing onto a 75 foot tall glass roof, and passing out. When people showed up to go shopping, they noticed the man sleeping perilously on the glass roof, 75 feet overhead. They called 911, and the fire department showed up to rescue him. They had to evacuate the shopping center, and wake Isaac up. He calmly came to, and was arrested. His lawyer said ‘He is very embarrassed and ashamed of his behaviour and in no way does he seek to diminish or minimize the impact of his actions on the public and the emergency services. He had gone out on Saturday to celebrate a new job, clearly he drank too much and has no recollection how he ended up on that roof.’ No word on if that new job decided to go with another candidate. Get more here.

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