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Stupid Is, Stupid Does

An 86-Year-Old Woman Defended Herself From a Thief With Bacon

Is there nothing bacon can’t do? An 86-year-old British woman just wanted to do some grocery shopping, and get some cash from the ATM. She went to the ATM first to get cash, then started her shopping. Little did she know that a woman was watching her withdraw her cash, and she wanted it. The assailant followed her around the grocery store for a while before grabbing her shopping cart and demanding the money. Being accosted in the supermarket spiked her flight or fight response, and this lady chose fight. She grabbed the nearest weapon she could find and started hitting her assailant about the head and face. That weapon was a big ol’ package of bacon. It worked, the woman fled empty-handed. Authorities have her description and are investigating. Get more here.

Woman Sees “Demon” In Her Slice of Key Lime Pie

Debra Mitchell, of Tallahassee Florida was sitting down to enjoy a delicious slice of Key Lime Pie, when she noticed a pattern in the whipped topping. It had eyes, and horns! It was a demon! Debra took a picture of said demon. She says it was clear as day, though we couldn’t see anything in the smear. She went so far as to take her pie to a nearby church, who told her to leave because the pie was “demonic” and they recommended she have her house anointed. Debra didn’t her house anointed, instead, she ate the demon. Which is probably what she should have done in the first place. Get more here.

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