Stupid Is, Stupid Does

A Man Tries to Beat a Urine Test with Warm Mountain Dew

A 39-year-old guy in Panama City, Florida had to be in court last Thursday for drug charges, grand theft auto charges, and running a chop shop. His name hasn’t been released, but we know that he found out at the last minute that he had to give a urine sample. And he knew he wouldn’t pass the drug test. So before he went in, he grabbed a radiator hose from his truck, filled it with warm Mountain Dew from a can in his glove compartment, and tried to use that. Unfortunately someone realized it was not pee, so it didn’t work. Maybe the carbonation had something to do with it? And apparently, even he knew it was a dumb idea. Because when they asked him his name, he identified himself as “Dumb Ass.” Then when they asked if he had actually said “Dumb Ass,” he said, “Well . . . I AM.” He also spilled a bunch of the soda on himself while he was trying to fill the tube, so it looked like he peed his pants. The judge ended up revoking his bond over it, so he’s in jail now. Get more here.

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