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Stupid Is, Stupid Does

A Guy With a Walker Stabs Someone, Then Slowly Tries to Flee the Scene

In retrospect, this guy probably wishes he’d put just a little more thought into his getaway plan. A 70-year-old guy named Andrew Stephens was at a park in Jersey City, New Jersey last week, and he was fighting with a 49-year-old guy over some money. Andrew wound up stabbing the guy, and then he tried to run away. There was just one problem: He uses a walker. So as he very slowly inched out of the park, the guy he stabbed flagged down the cops and pointed out Andrew, who’d only made it about 60 feet. That being said, the police report described him as, quote, “walking at a fast pace.” I guess “fast” is relative. Andrew was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and unlawful possession of a weapon. Get more here.

A Guy Picks Up the Check at Dinner, and His Friend Beats Him Up Because He Wanted to Pay

You’ve probably been out to dinner, and when the bill came, you got into an argument over who was going to pay. I sure have. I mean, I’m just pretending to argue and I always let them win and pay, but whatever. Here’s what happens when two people take that argument way too seriously. Two guys in Guangzhou, China went out to dinner last week with some friends. They’ve only been identified by their last names, Zhong and Ou. When the bill came, they got into a big argument over who was going to pay. Zhong ended up winning the battle and picking up the check. And Ou was SO angry that Zhong had denied him the honor of paying for everyone, he beat him up. Zhong had to go to the hospital and he’s still in a coma. Ou is facing assault charges. Get more here.



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