Stupid Is, Stupid Does


A Guy Smashes Glasses Over His Friend’s Head in a Fight Over Who’s Better, Jordan or LeBron

A 22-year-old student at Penn State named Daniel Mondelice was up late Friday night, arguing with his roommate about who’s better, Michael Jordan or LeBron James. And he eventually won the argument, by picking up two glasses, and smashing both of them over his roommate’s head. The roommate tried to calm him down, but Daniel threatened to stab him in his sleep. It’s not clear if Daniel was arguing for Jordan or LeBron. Ironically, his Facebook page says he “likes” both of them.  But he also posted that he was watching “Space Jam” on Jordan’s birthday back in February. So probably not a casual Jordan fan. Cops showed up around four in the morning and arrested Daniel for aggravated assault and making terroristic threats.  Then they released him on bail later that day. But apparently he was still worked up. Because he got arrested again a few hours later, when he refused to leave a friend’s apartment. He’s due in court tomorrow. Get the full story here.

An Old Lady Is Caught Smuggling Four Pounds of Cocaine in Her Spanx

A sweet old lady just got caught jamming more than her love handles into her Spanx. 70-year-old Olive Fowler of Guyana flew to JFK Airport in New York City last weekend. She was sweating during her customs screening, and wouldn’t make eye contact with the officers, so they gave her a pat down. They felt some odd lumps under her clothing, and it turns out she was wearing two pairs of compression underwear, like Spanx, and they were packed full of cocaine. She had a total of about four pounds, which is worth $73,000, so she was arrested on a felony narcotics charge. Get the full story here.


feature images by Keith Allison


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