Stupid Is, Stupid Does

Police Officer Arresting Young Man

A Guy Reports His Motorcycle Stolen to Cover Up For Cheating on His Wife

45-year-old Wayne Weatherstein of Port St. Lucie, Florida is not a good looking man.  And he’s clearly not a bright man.  But somehow he finds multiple women willing to have affairs with him. Wayne called the cops a few weeks ago and told them his motorcycle had been stolen. He signed an auto theft affidavit and everything. But when the cops searched the area where the bike was supposedly stolen, they ran the license plates on all the cars, and one of them was Wayne’s. When they confronted him about it, he admitted he’d lied about the motorcycle, because he was just trying to come up with a good alibi. It turns out Wayne was cheating on his wife a few weeks ago with a woman he met on the dating site Plenty of Fish, and he needed an excuse for why he was gone so long.  He told the cops, quote, “I do stupid things for women.” He was arrested for making a false report, and we’re pretty sure his wife is now well aware of his cheating. Get more here.

Man Calls 911 Because a Convenience Store Clerk Wouldn’t Give Him Free Stuff

A man who dialed 911 in a food flap at 7-Eleven got locked up after an imbroglio involving Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Coca-Cola, according to Martin County A deputy on May 23 went to a 7-Eleven in Hobe Sound “for a disturbance with Gregory Zopff calling 911 stating that 7-11 will not give him his food he’s owed.” A manager reported seeing Zopff, 29, bring a pack of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and a bottle of Coca-Cola to the counter. Zopff told the manager that the sheriff’s office told him he didn’t have to pay. He then left with the foodstuffs. the manager wasn’t swayed by Zopff’s claim that the sheriff’s office said he didn’t have to pay. To that end, another 7-Eleven employee went out after Zopff and got back the Reese’s cups and soda, each valued at $1.99. The report states Zopff “took flight from the store.” he was found in a Winn-Dixie parking lot. Zopff was jailed on a retail theft charge.​ Get more here.

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