Stupid Is, Stupid Does

Guy Robbed a Bank, Bought One Drink, And Retuned to the Bank

36-year-old Stephen Daniel Stump really wanted a drink, but he didn’t have any money. Stephen decided that his problem could be solved by robbing a bank. He walked into Centennial Bank in Key West, claimed he had a bomb and demanded money. They cooperated, and Stephen left with a bunch of cash, and the employees called 911. Stephen took a leisurely stroll to a restaurant down the street called Mangos and ordered that drink he wanted so badly. He paid for his drink with a pilfered $50 bill and told the bartender to keep the change. Then he heard sirens, that was his queue to leave, but rather than running, he returned to the bank. Employees recognized him and pointed him out to the police. Stephen calmly put his bag down and waited to be arrested. He was arrested without incident and charged with robbery. Get more here.

Two Guys Crash a Wedding, Fight Guests, and Threaten the Bride

When you crash a wedding, the whole point is to try to smoothly fit in, drink some free booze, maybe seduce a bridesmaid or groomsman, then get the hell out. Or you could do the exact opposite. A 33-year-old guy named Patrick McAllister and a 34-year-old named Joshua Willard crashed a wedding reception in Dunedin, Florida on Saturday night. It was at a place called the House of Beer, so maybe they thought everyone would be too drunk to notice? People immediately recognized that they were crashing and told them to leave. But they refused to go, got into fights with some of the people there, and one of them even threatened the bride. They were both arrested for disorderly conduct. Get more here.

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