Recently, my wife went out of town for four days. So some friends said that I should make a list of 5 things I did while she was gone. Here’s that list:
5. Get a good night’s sleep
Chances are you probably haven’t had a good night of sleep since they moved in. Get your starfish on, drool on the pillows, no one will judge you.
4. Catch up on those Netflix shows you cant watch cause they’re “Boring”
Nothing like watching Planet Earth Documentaries for 10 hours straight.
3. Use any bath towel you want
Your spouse probably hates it when you use their towel/washcloth…so do it…and don’t tell them (Evil Kermit)
2. Enjoy not finding hair in your food
Nothing like having a nice plate of pasta and NOT finding your spouse’s hair in it.
1. Poop with the door open
Well, I do this anyways. But bask in your own stench….after all you have the house to yourself.
