Life

Five Things To Do When Your Spouse Is Gone

Recently, my wife went out of town for four days. So some friends said that I should make a list of 5 things I did while she was gone. Here’s that list:

 

5. Get a good night’s sleep

Chances are you probably haven’t had a good night of sleep since they moved in. Get your starfish on, drool on the pillows, no one will judge you.

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4. Catch up on those Netflix shows you cant watch cause they’re “Boring”

Nothing like watching Planet Earth Documentaries for 10 hours straight.

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3. Use any bath towel you want

Your spouse probably hates it when you use their towel/washcloth…so do it…and don’t tell them (Evil Kermit)

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2. Enjoy not finding hair in your food

Nothing like having a nice plate of pasta and NOT finding your spouse’s hair in it.

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1. Poop with the door open

Well, I do this anyways. But bask in your own stench….after all you have the house to yourself.

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