Stupid Is, Stupid Does

Naked Man Causes 5 Car Pileup Then Runs Around for Nearly a Mile

An Ohio man in his birthday suit stopped traffic by running for nearly a mile during rush hour down a busy interstate, state troopers said. Tracy Martin of Chagrin Falls had barreled down the fast-lane shoulder of Interstate 71 Wednesday evening in his pickup truck, smacking into four vehicles and rear-ending another before he smashed into the median and overturned, hitting a sixth car. He then ran from the wreckage, wearing nary a stitch, according to the Ohio State Highway Patrol, reported WCPO-TV. Six people were injured. Martin booked down the fast lane, with drivers trailing in his wake, offering him clothes out of their car windows, troopers said. An off-duty Hamilton County Sheriff’s deputy and a state trooper finally caught the running man by shooting him with a Taser gun. He faces charges of aggravated vehicular assault. Get more here.

Man Guzzles Wine in Grocery Store Bathroom, Steals Sushi Down his Pants

Nathan Andrew Phifer, 28, is charged with theft. According to Friendswood police, Phifer was spotted in the wine display area at the HEB grocery store in the 700 block of W. Parkwood. They say he selected three bottles of wine, put them in his pockets and entered the restroom, where they say he drank two bottles of the wine. Police say when Phifer left the restroom, he picked up a package of sushi, put it down his pants and left the store without paying. Loss prevention employees held Phifer until police arrived. Get more here.

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