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Stupid Is, Stupid Does

A Guy Is Charged For Assaulting People at a Monopoly Tournament

There was a Monopoly tournament in Branson, Missouri this weekend, and if you’d ever expect an event to be peaceful, it’s a board game tournament in the most “aw shucks” town in America. But that was before 69-year-old John Litton showed up. Apparently he was guilty of some unsportsmanlike conduct during the tournament last year. We have no idea what that even means? Did he refuse to let someone else be the thimble? Did he try to build a hotel without building houses first? Did he demand a recount after he only won $10 for coming in second in a beauty pageant? Anyway, when he showed up for this year’s tournament, the people in charge asked him to sit this one out. And he responded by beating up a bunch of random Monopoly players. No one was seriously hurt, but John was arrested for five counts of assault, disturbing the peace, and trespassing. Get more here.

A Guy Nicknamed “007” Tried to Jump Onto a Moving Train and It Went Horribly Wrong

24-year-old James Hubert is a student at Georgia Tech in Atlanta. His nickname is 007, but unfortunately, James Hubert is no James Bond. He went to a sorority party earlier this month, then disappeared. He was missing for two days until his friends realized his date had left her iPhone in his jacket, and they tracked it with the “Find my iPhone app.” They found James next to some train tracks, face down in the dirt, and covered in blood. When they asked him what happened, his story kept changing. It started with him saying a homeless guy jumped him, then he changed it to a group of people jumping him, then he switched it to being hit by a train. What really happened? Apparently he tried to live up to his James Bond nickname by trying to jump onto a moving train, but he fell off and was too hurt to move. The cops have surveillance footage of the jump. It’s possible that he could face criminal charges for lying about being mugged, but for now he’s just recovering in the hospital. Get more here.



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