Stupid Is, Stupid Does

Man Eating Hamburger Attacked By Vegetarian

Brad Burns witnessed a man dressed in a ‘meat suit’ attack another man eating a hamburger. “I saw the meat man run at the guy full force and knock him off the picnic table,” Burns said. “My first instinct was to run because I thought the attacker might be a serial killer, but instead I decided to face my fear and capture the attack on my smartphone.” Burns said the assailant in the meat suit knocked his victim down, took his hamburger, threw it about fifty yards and then ran away, disappearing into a thicket of trees. “The meat suit guy was yelling ‘meat is murder!’ over and over during the attack,” Burn said. Burns ran to the victim to see if he was okay, but just as Burns was dialing police, the victim stopped him. “He said he was wanted for train robbery and couldn’t go back to prison because it’s way too scary there,” Burns said. Get the full story here.


A Clerk Fights Off an Armed Robber Using Lollipops

A 15-year-old went into a store in Dortmund, Germany last week with a ski mask covering his face and a gun in his hand. Then he demanded all the money in the cash register. But the clerk sized him up and apparently wasn’t afraid of the gun. So he decided to fight back using the only thing he had within arm’s reach: lollipops. The clerk started pelting the kid with lollipops, and it worked, he ran off. It turns out that before he went into the store, he’d pulled up the ski mask, right in front of a security camera.  So the cops used the footage to identify him, and were able to track him down and arrest him. Get the full story here.

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