Stupid Is, Stupid Does

American money under a rock

A Guy Tries to Pay His Bar Tab With a Rock and Threatens to Blow Up the Place When They Won’t Let Him

24-year-old Jared Simpson went to a bar in Tallahassee, Florida last week, and drank $10 worth of Bud Light.  Then when it came time to pay, he tried to pay with a ROCK. When the bartender told him they didn’t accept rocks as payment, he flipped out. He stormed out of the bar, came back with a briefcase, started speaking in tongues, and said anyone who went near the briefcase would DIE.  Then he took out a phone, pressed the buttons, and ran across the street. So people ran out of the bar, thinking it was a bomb.  Fortunately, it wasn’t, it was just an empty briefcase. The police arrested Jared for bomb threats, hoax weapons of mass destruction, and theft, for the beer.  He told them he was in Tallahassee, quote, “to party with the Rainbow People in the national forest.” Get the full story here.

SLC Robber Tries To Hide in Dumpster

A teenage boy was walking toward PF Chang’s in downtown SLC,  the teen gave money to a panhandler and noticed another person watching him, said Salt Lake Police Sgt. Robin Heiden. Later, he went to the restaurant’s bathroom, and while in there, he was confronted by the man who had been watching him. The man “placed his fist on the victim’s stomach and said, ‘This is a stick up. Give me all your money and no one gets hurt,'” The man took $108, ran toward the restaurant door and the teen followed yelling that he had been robbed, Heiden said. “The manager tried to stop him, but he pushed her out of the way,” she said. As the man ran out the door, the teen followed and continued to yell that he had been robbed. A cab driver saw the commotion and followed the man, Heiden said. The cabbie then flagged down a nearby Salt Lake police officer and pointed out a dumpster at 224 S. 200 West that the suspect was hiding behind. Get the full story here.


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