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Stupid Is, Stupid Does

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A Chocolate Cake Took Down Mexico’s Most-Wanted Drug Lord

He traveled by four-wheeler and on horseback. He lived in caves and on secluded mountain ranches, surrounded by his bodyguards and logistics men who kept his meth-dealing cartel dominant for years in the western state of Michoacan. When authorities finally caught up last week with Servando Gómez Martínez, a.k.a. “La Tuta,” the top surviving leader of the Knights Templar cartel and the country’s most-wanted fugitive, they got him with chocolate cake. That was the dessert that his girlfriend, María Antonieta Luna Ávalos, delivered to his hideout in the colonial town of Morelia on Feb. 6, which happened to be his 49th birthday. When authorities observed that errand, coupled with some shoddy spycraft by his handpicked messenger, a federal police team was able to capture him in the pre-dawn hours of Friday without a shot fired. Get the full story here.

A Guy Was Busted With a Sour Cream Container Labeled “Not Weed”. . . and There Was Weed Inside

It takes impressive detective work to see through a Jedi mind trick like this . . . so bravo to the cops who pulled it off. Police in Lincoln, Nebraska pulled over 21-year-old Jordan Meier on Saturday night for drunk driving. When they searched his car, they found a 16-ounce container of Land O’ Lakes sour cream under the passenger seat . . . and it was labeled, quote, “NOT WEED.” Now, if I’M there, I’m thinking, “Damn, I really figured this would have weed in it.  But it says ‘NOT WEED’ on it.  I guess I’ll keep searching the car.”  But these cops were smarter than that.  They opened the container anyway. And it turns out the label was lying to them . . . there actually WAS weed in there.  11 grams of it. Jordan was arrested for driving under the influence and marijuana possession.  The three other people in the car weren’t drunk OR high. Get the full story here.

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