Stupid Is, Stupid Does

A Guy at a Gas Station Tried to Kill a Spider With His Lighter and Set the Place on Fire

Technically you’re not supposed to use your cell phone while you’re pumping gas, because it could spark and start a fire. Gas stations are that flammable. So, uh, definitely don’t try this. A guy was filling up his car at a gas station in Center Line, Michigan last week, when he saw a spider. And he decided to try to kill it by, using his lighter. He tried to set the spider on fire, but he accidentally set the pump on fire instead, and it went up in flames. He grabbed a fire extinguisher, and managed to put the fire out before it spread. But the pump was totally destroyed. Other than that, there wasn’t any real damage and there were no injuries. The guy was embarrassed and apologized, and the station isn’t pressing charges. They say their insurance is going to cover the damage. It’s not clear if the spider survived. Get more here.

A Guy Steals a $1.12 Spoon to “Eat His Cap’n Crunch” and Could Get Five Years in Prison

Cap’n Crunch is pretty good. I’m not sure a bowl of it is worth going to prison for, though. Cinnamon Toast Crunch, on the other hand . . . quite possibly. 46-year-old Gregg Lerner of St. Petersburg, Florida was busted for stealing a SPOON from Walmart on Thursday night . . . just one spoon, nothing else. According to the police report, when a cop asked him why he did it, he said he needed it to, quote, “eat his Cap’n Crunch with.” The spoon only cost $1.12, but because Gregg has two convictions for theft, he was charged with a felony. He could be looking at up to five years in prison and a $5,000 fine. Get more here.

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