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Stupid Is, Stupid Does

A Man Danced to Hall and Oates on a Cop Car to Fight Vampires Preparing a Human Sacrifice?

44-year-old Christian Radecki of Cape Coral, Florida is either insane, or one day we’ll have to thank him for saving mankind.This happened a few months ago, but the police report just came out. Back on April 7th, around 11:00 A.M., Christian drove his car up to a police sergeant’s house.  Then he left his stereo blasting as he climbed onto the roof of the cop car in the driveway, and started dancing. He did some dance moves to “Rich Girl” by Hall and Oates and “Goodbye Stranger” by Supertramp, without realizing a neighbor’s security camera was recording the entire thing.  Then he bent the cop’s windshield wipers. The next song up was “You’re the One That I Want” from “Grease”, but other cops had gotten there by that point and arrested him. He told them he was on a quest to find the Sheriff of Nottingham, because a woman with fangs was threatening him, and vampires were about to make a human sacrifice.  He was arrested for misdemeanor disturbing the peace and property damage. Get the full story here.

A Drug Dealer Chews Through the Seatbelt in a Cop Car to Make It to His Son’s Birthday Party

33-year-old Lashon Stuckey of Chicago was arrested on Monday afternoon when cops spotted him selling $30 worth of heroin on the streets.  And they found several more bags of heroin on him when they searched him. So they put him in a cop car, and he started chewing through the seatbelt to escape. He managed to get through the entire thing, but the cops caught him before he could get out.  He told them he was so desperate to get away because he didn’t want to miss his son’s birthday party. There’s something oddly sweet about a father that devoted to his son.  Although I suppose if he was really devoted, he wouldn’t be out committing crimes on the kid’s birthday. He was charged with two counts of possession of a controlled substance and one count of criminal damage to property for the seatbelt. And since he’s still in jail, he definitely missed that birthday party. Get the full story here.

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